Sunday, December 11, 2011

Reflections

Just how do you say goodbye to a mother?  I have kept myself absorbed and busy with the task at hand.  Making her as comfortable as possible, shopping for little things she needs, cleaning some and constant trips to and stays at the hospital.  What I cannot face is to never hear her voice again.  To never smell her sweet smell. To never hug her and laugh with her.  To not ever again pick up my phone and call her once or twice a day just to check in and see how her day went.  Recently, I have spent as many hours as I possibly can right by her side but in day to day life there was rarely a day that went by that I did not talk to her.  How do I begin to make those same connections with other people like I have done with my Mom for almost 55 years?  I am the only daughter and only grandaughter of two strong women.  I am numb almost.  Going through the motions.  I just do not want her to suffer in any way and I am helpless to fix anything.  So I do my best.  Fluff pillows, get ice, place aquaphor within her reach and love her.

3 comments:

  1. My thoughts are so with you.
    I went through this with my mom.
    Aren't we blessed with knowing we will see them again? I don't think I could servive this life if I didn't believe that...
    Sometimes even now 24 years later I can close my eyes and feel her soft skin as I used to rub lotion on her dry skin in the end....My prayers are with you and I cried as I read your beautiful words about her.
    Love, Barbara

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  2. I did just that tonight Barbara. I was rubbibg her dry and itchy skin(reaction to the pain meds) tonight with her lotion and I smelled the lotion all the way home. She has always used Jergens orginal scent. I told her that the one comfort I have is knowing that she will soon be with Jesus and in the loving arms of her parents and my brother. You were so young to lose your Mother. I am blessed that she got to see my children grown and begin to have children themselves.

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